M was not your ordinary 18year old guy. None that I had seen in my school that is. He was 6'2 nicely built, somewhere between a basketball and football figure I would say. Not to lean and not to muscular. His hair was like jasper, wavy and short. His skin color was a dark brown sugar. I couldn't quite place his ethnicity but he looked something similar to Puerto Rican or a mix of White and African American, (his true ethnicity is Swedish and African American). Almond shaped eyes, brown in color. Which quickly caught my attention since they reminded me of Keanu Reeves, who was my celebrity crush. M had strong features with his thick dark eyebrows that sat comfortably on his strong brow, and a long broad nose with a small black mole on one nostril that was perfectly placed like a nose ring. His lips were attractively shaped, kissable. He had this gallant way of walking, with his own kinda of rhythm. At the perfect time he would reach up and swipe his nose in between steps just to look cool.
The Class of 1992 was graduating, and I was there to cheer on some of my friends. H was one of them. She had invited me to her celebratory dinner after the ceremony. H and her sister L had befriended me earlier that year at a school dance. They said I had a unique way about me and they thought I was very pretty. It was silly to me at the time but these two sisters had a way of speaking their minds. They had invited me to their little church in El Monte where their parents Co-Pastored. I went one Wednesday night and loved it. It was there that I found my relationship with Jesus. Prior to that I was Catholic. My mother had made sure I followed all the steps of the Catholic Religion, starting with Baptism as an infant to my Quinceanera at 15. But by the time I was 17 my Mom had basically lost hope in her faith do to a broken marriage with the betrayal of my father who went to prison for child molestation, leaving us to lose our home of 14yrs. My Mother had to pick up the pieces of our shattered life and try to make do, going back to school while working two jobs, she was tired and agitated with life. Her famous words to me where, "I feel like God put me on this earth to suffer." And if you knew all that my Mom had to go through growing up till now...one might agree. She has had her dose of sufferige.
So that day in June 1992, the ceremony was just about to begin and all of the graduates friends and family had arrived and were scrambling through the courtyard to get to the field. That's when I noticed M. I still remember what he was wearing. A long sleeve mustard colored shirt with his famous white jeans. He was strikingly handsome. I noticed him noticing me, but tried to play it cool just as he did the same. I didn't know at the time that he was H's cousin. Not until that night at the dinner that is. We went to this little Italian Restaurant, I believe in La Puente or Baldwin Park. It had dim lighting and was decorated with green lattice arches over booth table's, while the scent of Pasta, and Canadian bacon filled the air, a variety of Pizza's sat on risers at each table. I didn't see M until later that evening when he showed up with his best friend C. They where two hopeful Rap Stars, they used to have little gigs at churches and go to open mic's. M didn't talk to me much that night but he was attracted to me, (he told me later). Of course as my luck would have it his older brother R sat next to me at a table and flirted with me most of the night, telling me how beautiful I was. He was almost just as handsome as M, only he had bigger muscles. He had been a star athlete in football with quite a few scholarship offers. I'm not sure why he didn't except them but at the time he lived with his regret drinking away his sorrows. He did manage to pull himself out of his rut later, and now runs a successful Fitness training business, with a beautiful family, and looks even more amazing then he did back then.
I wondered about M that night as I lay in bed. I wondered if what I was experiencing was love at first site? Was he the man I would Marry? Is he thinking about me right now? In the months to follow I would get to know him as I spent more time with H and L, going to church, the beach, christian concerts..they would pick me up in their big hoop de ville cars, (their father used to be a used car salesman and always found these great deals on huge cars, once they had an old cadillac limo). It was only a matter of time before M and my story began. We both knew we were noticing one another but I was dating a guy at the time...one who actually asked me..."Are you going to date me for more than 2wks?" I had no idea what he meant, because remember I didn't see what I was doing from the outside. I was still trying to find someone who lived up to C. I asked E why he said that and he replied, "Because you usually only date guys for 2wks." I was dumbfounded, was that what guys thought of me? A serial dater? And sadly E did last exactly 2wks...but not because I planned it that way, initially I only went out with him because he misunderstood my intention's I had told him and his brother we should all hangout soon, meaning all of our friends and he took it as me asking him out specifically. I didn't realize it until he asked for a date. I did agree, but found he moved a lot faster than I was ready for. And since I was now attending church regularly I felt pretty uncomfortable with his touchy hands. Purity was what I was aiming for. And then there was the M factor. I was really beginning to fall for him, and realized I should break things off with E before I lose my chance with M (E didn't happen until the 2wks before M and I started dating).
Growing up I was a dreamer. As I mentioned before I was, and still am a left brain thinker not to mention left handed. Most of my childhood was spent drawing, singing, dancing, and acting infront of whoever would care to watch. But mostly I did it for myself. I would spend hours in my room singing and drawing. I would create my own fashion designs or reenact movie scenes. I even memorized the whole Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation Video (I remember C used to tease me about that after my sister told him). I wanted to be a Actress/Dancer/Singer and that's how I would tell people too, including the slash marks. Of course nowadays it's more politically correct to say Actor rather than Actress. :) I do remember sitting in front of the television crying because I wanted to be an Actor so bad.
My plan was to become an Actress then marry when I was 25. I also wanted to attend Berkley University because I had read something about Julia Roberts and Berkley, haha.. she was my idol when it came to Women in Hollywood. I used to tell people, "Just call me Julia" I guess I had a big imagination. I pretty much lived in my own fantasy world of big dreams. Meanwhile when I would write letters to my Dad in prison about being an Actress he discouraged it. He said Hollywood was no place for me. It was too evil. In prison he found God and would write me letters upon letters about his new relationship with Jesus. He had told me he was praying to God that I would not become an Actress. Well, thanks Dad. You ruin our lives then crush my dreams. That didn't stop me from joining the Drama Club and starring in three high school plays. I loved it! I did manage to go to one Casting Call for Disney and lie about my age. They wanted 16yr old's and I was 18. I didn't get the part. I do still wonder what Disney teen show it was, and how my life would be so different if I had got the part.
When M and I finally got together we shared all of our dreams. We were both big dreamers from single parent homes. With father's who didn't come through. Our Mom's had been on food stamps, and became bitter with life. Isn't it funny how we found each other. I managed to hide most of my troubles of home from kids at school and lived up to the popularity my sister held passing it onto me, and me to my younger sister who was also a freshman when I was a senior. I was in ASB (one year), Cheer and Song, Chorus, Drama, and Basketball. I loved my friends and school. I didn't do to well in Academia but nonetheless it was memorable.
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